Viagra Goes a Long Way

Good Evening Pittsburgh,

Hey there folks, it's been awhile but I'm back again with more great ideas and opinions. I guess I'll review my weekend events real quick, so this article may take a while, so you may want to take your bathroom break now.

First, The Pittsburgh Penguins 5-1 Loss against the Carolina Hurricanes on Saturday Night. The thing that bothers me the most about this is they played pretty decent hockey for half the game. They came out looking very flat and hung over, (or just Ryan Malone) and then showed signs of life during the game. If anybody watched the game or checked the highlights I'm sure they would have stumbled across the devastating hit delivered by Colby Armstrong, not much else to say about that...yikes. Some highlights of the game were of coarse hanging out with Nick, Kayla, Gabby and Blase; that is always fun. Getting put up on the JumboTron at Mellon Arena twice Saturday night (three times so far this year) was pretty sweet. I had some stellar dance moves that made the ladies at Mellon Arena drool in awe, and crave my phone number. My JumboTron appearance was just no regular appearance either, it was a good 20 seconds of hardcore dancing...you all know how I get down. To close this subject, Kayla is hilarious...that is all.

Now onward to my next subject...our Pittsburgh Steelers. Great to finally get a W back in the column for Big Ben and the gang but was it really necessary to bend Kansas City over like Jenna Jameson and butt fuck the shit outta' them. YES! You're damn right it was, hahaha. It's great to put some points up on the board provided by the Steelers 'O', and give Ben and the rest of the team some confidence and positive things to go off of into next week. Since were on the subject of butt fucking I guess that will take me to my next point.

Lastly, My fantasy football team dominated harder than Mel Gibson does to a bottle of Vodka, and spanked more ass than Hugh Hefner could ever imagine. I boned my Fantasy Opponent harder than an 80 year-old man on Viagra. Let me give you all a little taste of the players I have, and what they did with the ball this week. Ladainian Tomlinson had three touchdowns, Torry Holt had a break out game, my defense who just happened to be our beloved Pittsburgh Steelers had a touchdown and whooped ass, Laveranues Coles had two touchdowns, Matt Hasselbeck threw for three touchdowns, and my personal favorite...TERELL OWENS had 5 catches for 45 Yards, and 3, COUNT 'EM, THREE TOUCHDOWNS! It took Jesus an extra week to rise from the dead folks, but he has been resurrected. See article below on T.O. for further information but I don't need to elaborate. All in all, the typical score in my fantasy league for a decent team is 145 points per week. I scored 269 points this week, hahaha...269 points, Jesus Mary and Joseph. I guess my weekend wasn't all that interesting and reason being for my writing being so unenthusiastic I suppose is because I've been doing English all night, writing essays, and studying for two mid-terms.

So with that said...I'll start brainstorming topics for my next post, have a wonderful night.

Listening to: Breaking Benjamin - Evil Angel


Signed,
All Hopped up on the Little Blue Pill